‘Maple Doughnut Bacon Burger’ – Food Review


Look at this Delicious monstrosity…Do you see this? Imagine actually having it. Because I have and I’m still alive today to tell about it. First off this burger is exactly how you imagine it would be. Delicious and horrifying. But before I go into that, let me tell you why I decided to go through and create this.

Now I’ve seen these on the news, online, heck even at a ball game once. But I was always scared to try one for the sake of my health. Years go down the road and it got to the point where I’m leaving my late twenties. So my body, soul, and mind said unanimously, “Fuck it I’m gonna have this”. It was pretty easy I got everything I needed at the grocery store even the maple doughnuts. (I also recommend microwaving the doughnuts for ten seconds to make the meal ever more epic’er) now if you read my other food reviews then you know whats up. I’m a sucker for over the top meals. However this was the first time my body was like, “bro I can’t take anymore of this”

Throughout the whole process I felt like I was Frankenstein and the burger was my monster. while my stomach was the townsfolk with pitchforks. Putting it simply this burger was incredible. I haven’t tasted anything this good in…well probably this whole year. But then came to the digestion of this demon burger and…my god. I thought I was having diabetes, a heart attack, and a liver shutdown from this thing. This was worst then taco bell. My stomach literally felt like it had a brick inside it. Thankfully after an hr and a quick rush to the bathroom it was no problem. But still I felt like a victim in the ‘Alien’ series. Then again it may have been on my part because I’m not the best cook. Perhaps I didn’t cook the beef right or the bacon. In any case I’m sort of conflicted if the taste was worth putting my body through this. Right now I think it was but if i look back on this when I’m an older man with grandkids on my lap asking me what I did when I was young. Well I might not bring this up and I will contemplate about it through my wise and ancient mind that making this wasn’t worth it.

If you come across this in a restaurant or if you plan on making this on your own. I recommend sharing it with someone, maybe a few people. Because taking this thing on your own could be a challenge. Don’t get me wrong it was freaking out of this world. But prepare yourself for the aftermath of it though.




About turkotime

turkotime is a blog about music, books, movies, food and video games through my independent opinion
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